In view of the sensitivity of Native Americans (vis-à-vis teams such as the Cleveland Indians, Washington Redskins, etc.) and other cultural and ethnic groups, we endeavored to formulate an alternative Team Naming System.
The first phase of this exploration involves the substitution of marine - aquatic creature's names for the various pro sports teams.
Future discussions may focus on alternative names based on Bugs, Birds or Reptile Designations. Our first cut is outlined below:
Atlanta Anchovies
Baltimore Blowfish
Boston Blennies
Charlotte Shad
Chicago Shiners
Cincinnati Sea Bass
Dallas Damselfish
Denver Pikes
Detroit Dogfish
Houston Halibuts
Jacksonville Jewfish
Kansas City Catfish
Los Angeles Lungfish
Memphis Mulletts
Miami Mudpuppies
Minnesota Mackerels
New York Jetsam
New York Needlefish
Oakland Opahs
Orlando Octopi
Pittsburgh Pufferfish
Portland Porgies
San Francisco Flotsam
Seattle Salmon
St. Louis Scrod
Tampa Bay Toadfish
Utah Urchins
Washington Wrasses
Sports Writers might then be covering, as examples, the following contests:
Baltimore Blowfish vs. Pittsburgh Pufferfish
San Francisco Flotsam vs. New York Jetsam
Headlines might read something like these:
Baltimore Blows the Puffers Out of the Water
Flotsam Sinks the Jetsam
The Toadfish Prove that Utah Players really are Urchins
NY Needles the Scrod in all-out Upset
LA Lungfish Breath a Sigh after Near Loss to the Blennies
Kansas City Catfish vs. Detroit Dogfish: “Fur was Really Flyin'!”
Portland Porgies vs. Boston Basses: “Classic, four overtimes”
LA Ladyfish vs. Damselfish: “Prim & proper, played like gurls.”
Cinci Sea Squirts vs. BAL Blowfish: "Squirts Conquer big Fish" Houston: "HOU Loses: Halibut Was They Blew 21-point Lead!"
Dallas: "Dallas Looked Like Damsels in Distress!"
Atlanta Anchovies: "Anchovies Go Sour in 4th Quarter"
Detroit: "Dogs' Bark Worse Than Bite in 27-point Loss"
Player-trades could include:
"Three Urchins Traded for Flotsam QB"
St. Louis & Chicago: "Scrod Get Two Shiners from Chicago"
We are continuing the pursuit of additional naming conventions and will post those in the near future.
NY Needlefish & Oakland Opahs: "Needlefish Stick it to the Opahs"
We are continuing the pursuit of additional naming conventions and will post those in the near future.
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